We can win

(cont'd from yesterday's post)

She recommends divorce and joint custody of the children. That way, the mother only has to care for her kids every other week; for her ex, zero time in care. She can be alone half the time to pursue independence. 

That could appeal as a temporary break for the mom who's overwhelmed by family problems. But surveys show that, in the long term, married mothers are not losers in the pursuit of happiness (image). A large majority report being very happy or pretty happy in spite of the challenges.

 

Living in close relationships with people you love, creating a meaningful life together, is still a good bet and worth the effort.

Happy 6

(cont'd from this post)

My yard is a happy place for me, definitely. Especially now, the "merry month of May."

There may even be a science-based element in it, per the article referenced here.

A re-post from 2018:

Dirt helps

"Most avid gardeners will tell you that their landscape is their “happy place” and the actual physical act of gardening is a stress reducer and mood lifter." And now there is science to back up that claim.

"There’s a natural antidepressant in soil . . . Mycobacterium vaccae is the substance under study and has indeed been found to mirror the effect on neurons that drugs like Prozac provide. . .The bacterium is found in soil and may stimulate serotonin production, which makes you relaxed and happier."

It "appears to be a natural antidepressant in soil and has no adverse health effects. These antidepressant microbes in soil may be as easy to use as just playing in the dirt."

photo: telegraph

Happy 4

(cont'd from this post)

Parents want their children to be happy and to live satisfying lives. Good relationships are critical toward that end. 

So let's hold relationships in high regard. Marriage is statistically a good goal, even in today's cultural climate. Here's the next in this "Happy" series, a re-post from 2018:

Married & Happy

Yale's most popular class, "Psychology and the Good Life," teaches students social skills and gratitude. Good lessons, yes, but studies say that marriage itself is also a predictor of happiness.

"Numerous studies have associated marriage with a lower risk of disease, from diabetes to cardiovascular and respiratory problems – particularly if you are a man. “Married people tend to smoke less, drink less alcohol, and eat more healthily . .

"People who get married and stay married have roughly double the wealth of those who never marry"

"Additionally, married couples who attend church together are more likely to live longer, avoid depression and stay married."

"Studies consistently show that children raised by happy, committed parents are less likely to have behavior problems, drop out of school, be abused, use drugs, commit crime, become pregnant as teenagers, suffer poverty or become sick."

Happy 3

(cont'd from this post)

Re-post from 2017

So Shermer says, "if you believe the hype of apocalyptic popularizers you might conclude that climate change, runaway overpopulation, poverty, hunger, and disease will ruin the Earth and leave humanity's only hope for survival on Mars . . .

"It's easy to think this way, given that newspapers, books, television shows and documentary films are built around pessimistic thinking." But the truth is:

Poverty?  "it will reach zero by around 2035"
Pollution?  "air and water in our cities is the cleanest it’s been in centuries"
Health?  "those born today will be healthier, live longer and have more opportunities than anyone in history"

Michael Shermer is scornful of God, scornful of faith, and I don't share his worldview. But he's clear-eyed about this: global living conditions have been rising dramatically for 40 years - so don't fall for panicky pessimism.

His conclusion is, "We should be grateful for the blessings we have today, optimistic about the future, and continue to work toward a better tomorrow because none of this progress was inevitable. It was the result of people taking action to solve our most pressing problems."

So true! We are all blessed when other people use their God-given abilities to solve problems and manage the earth for good results.

from Business Insider

Happy 2

(cont'd from this post)

Re-post from 2017

Dystopia is the theme of books and movies, i.e. Hunger Games, The 100, Divergence, etc. Some people have the feeling that doom and disaster are coming for the world, whether through poverty or disease or aliens or climate change or . . something.

Materialists, those who believe in nothing but the material universe, tend to believe in a coming doomsday.  But Michael Shermer, editor of Skeptic magazine, is a materialist - and he definitely does not think the world is getting worse.

photo: businessinsider.com

Shermer thinks we're fortunate to be living in the "most peaceful, most prosperous" time in human history. He says, "There is no period in history when it would have been better to be alive than today."

Maybe we're listening too much to fear mongers. Mainstream and social media both tell us that we lurch from crisis to crisis. A steady diet of fear and crisis will give us a skewed view of reality.

(cont'd next week)

Happy 1

Are Americans happy? It's a big-scale question that the United Nations analyzes periodically. According to their report published this week, we as a people are a lot less happy than we used to be. In just a year we dropped from 15th happiest country in the world to 23rd happiest. 

That's a big drop in a short time. This week's report specifies generations for the first time, so the reason for it can be identified: young people (ages 10-29) are deeply unhappy, and they pull down our average.

Well, we know how they've been educated for years and that may have something to do with it. Human beings are not made happy when we're told that we're alone in the universe, that there's no God and no ultimate justice, no transcendent meaning to life, that we're nothing but more-evolved animals, etc.

Happiness is not trivial, as long as we don't define it with a shallow meaning. For our purposes on this blog, we're using the term as life satisfaction, peace of mind, a sense of well-being. For several weeks we're going to explore the subject every Friday. There is hope.

Have a good weekend! 

Happy anyway

 Here's one person's thoughts on happiness. He's had a lot to deal with.

Sam is happy. He knows how to keep being happy, he's figured out some important things, and he'd like all of us to learn how to do the same in spite of our challenges.

Sam is challenged by the normal things of life, but especially by a disease that afflicts only 350 kids in the world: progeria.

Here he is explaining "My philosophy for a happy life."

Happiest

Neither having children nor not having them is the secret to happiness for women. Neither being married nor being single is the secret to happiness for women.

But the chance of happiness for a woman is significantly increased when the two factors are combined. (Ditto for men.) 

Combine marriage with children and with church attendance? Those three factors put together must make for a good chance of happiness.

from AEI

Work 14-hr day

Would there be any appeal in working a super long 14-hour day? When the owner/operator of a Florida Chick-fil-A offered just such a consistent work schedule, over 400 people applied for the job. Oh, and they work only three of those long days per week. That's the appeal.

When Justin Lindsey opened his shop near Miami, Florida, last year, he chose this way of expressing how he wanted to manage it: "One of the things I really set out to do . . was what I called "leading with generosity." This new way of scheduling his workers was well-received.

One of his managers told him that she could never have graduated from University of Central Florida if she had had to work the normal choppy schedule. Another told him that she had visited New York City with the time she had available, not having to take any vacation time.

Overall, there's been improved worker retention, work-life balance, and career growth. 

"I'm so incredibly happy and grateful that Chick-fil-A has given me the opportunity to do this. Because the impact that I'm able to have on my team, honestly, I mean, it's incredible."

from Business Insider

Not optional

 You probably can name a few things in life that you consider "not optional." I wonder if you've considered the importance of beauty. 

Psychologist Jordan Peterson and screenwriter Randall Wallace talk about the significance of beauty in this video. They both tell a story of an encounter with someone who was deeply touched by beauty which made a difference in their lives.

Good work

My husband and I are organizing a social (many call it a "pot blessing" rather than a "pot luck") for a team we lead at our church. As a tool for getting to know each other better, he is going to ask them one of his favorite questions: "What do very few people know about you?"

Everyone you know, everyone I know, has talent in something. It may be publicly known or it may not, but I know it's in there. It's probably a joy to that individual and a blessing to other people. 

image

You have talent.  Hopefully you will develop it, watch it bloom, delight to see how it blesses your family and associates. It will take work, but it will be satisfying.

"God invites us to use our talents toward productive ends that will bring us satisfaction and joy, delight our Master, and benefit those around us."

"No One Dates"

This may be a bit of a downer to you on Valentine's Day, and maybe a surprise as well: there's some evidence that romance is not as popular as it used to be. Author Arthur Brooks says it's because people are more afraid to risk their hearts today than they used to be.

image

Most Gen X and baby boomers dated in high school (85%) according to one study. Some say that "virtual interactions [now] substitute for face-to-face human relationships. It is not a shock to see research emerging that links heavy social media use with loneliness and depression.

Dr. Brooks says, "[T]he percentage of high school seniors who went on dates in 2015 had fallen to 56 percent. I asked my son, a junior in college, if this matched his experience. His matter-of-fact reply: “No one dates.”

Dirt helps

"Most avid gardeners will tell you that their landscape is their “happy place” and the actual physical act of gardening is a stress reducer and mood lifter." And now there is science to back up that claim.

"There’s a natural antidepressant in soil . . . Mycobacterium vaccae is the substance under study and has indeed been found to mirror the effect on neurons that drugs like Prozac provide. . .The bacterium is found in soil and may stimulate serotonin production, which makes you relaxed and happier."

It "appears to be a natural antidepressant in soil and has no adverse health effects. These antidepressant microbes in soil may be as easy to use as just playing in the dirt."

photo: telegraph

(from Gardening Know How)

Not hopeless

We tend to think that people can't change. But God can help them, and He will - if they want help. 

“There goes an angry, lonely old man to die in his bitterness.”

 The thought tore me up, but every sign pointed in that direction. I couldn’t see any hope of change in his life.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Check out this true story, experienced by the author.

photo: stream.org

Married & happy

People want to have a happy life. Yale's most popular class, "Psychology and the Good Life," teaches students social skills and gratitude. Good lessons, yes, but studies say that marriage itself is also a predictor of happiness.

"Numerous studies have associated marriage with a lower risk of disease, from diabetes to cardiovascular and respiratory problems – particularly if you are a man. “Married people tend to smoke less, drink less alcohol, and eat more healthily . .

"People who get married and stay married have roughly double the wealth of those who never marry"

"Additionally, married couples who attend church together are more likely to live longer, avoid depression and stay married."

"Studies consistently show that children raised by happy, committed parents are less likely to have behavior problems, drop out of school, be abused, use drugs, commit crime, become pregnant as teenagers, suffer poverty or become sick."

But . .  studies reveal that “millennials” are far less likely to marry than their “Gen X” or “Boomer” counterparts.

Happy boost

Gratitude is a good choice . . for so many reasons. Happy Thanksgiving!

Fortunate #2

(cont'd from yesterday's post)

So Shermer says, "if you believe the hype of apocalyptic popularizers you might conclude that climate change, runaway overpopulation, poverty, hunger, and disease will ruin the Earth and leave humanity's only hope for survival on Mars . . .

"It's easy to think this way, given that newspapers, books, television shows and documentary films are built around drama and pessimistic thinking . ." But the truth is:

Poverty?  "it will reach zero by around 2035"
Pollution?  "air and water in our cities is the cleanest it’s been in centuries"
Health?  "those born today will be healthier, live longer and have more opportunities than anyone in history"

Michael Shermer is scornful of God, scornful of faith, and I don't share his worldview. But he's clear-eyed about this: global living conditions have been rising dramatically for 40 years  - so don't fall for panicky pessimism.

His conclusion is, "We should be grateful for the blessings we have today, optimistic about the future, and continue to work toward a better tomorrow because none of this progress was inevitable. It was the result of people taking action to solve our most pressing problems."

For sure. We are all blessed when other people use their God-given abilities to solve problems and manage the earth for good results.

Fortunate #1

Dystopia has been the subject of recent books and movies, i.e. Hunger Games, The 100, Divergence, etc. Some people have the feeling that doom and disaster is coming for the world, whether through poverty or disease or aliens or climate change or . . something.

Materialists, those who believe in nothing but the material universe, tend to believe in a coming doomsday.  But Michael Shermer, editor of Skeptic magazine, is a materialist - and he definitely does not think the world is getting worse.

photo: businessinsider.com

Shermer thinks we're fortunate to be living in the "most peaceful, most prosperous" time in human history. He says, "There is no period in history when it would have been better to be alive than today."

(cont'd tomorrow)

Comparing

Comedian Tom Shillue says he's a pretty happy guy . . because he stopped comparing himself to other people like Jerry Seinfeld and Jimmy Fallon.

He recommends we all stop comparing ourselves to whoever we think is better.

Happy anyway

Sam is happy. He knows how to keep being happy, he's figured out some important things, and he'd like all of us to learn how to do the same in spite of our challenges.

Sam is challenged by the normal things of life, but especially by a disease that afflicts only 350 kids in the world: progeria.

Here he is explaining "My philosophy for a happy life."